Show You Care

It is so easy to convince myself that people don't care. I always lose sight of the moments that people reach out and show that they do care, even when I don't see it. In order, to remind myself of those times it makes sense to write them down. I have a great memory for certain details and then I can't remember a thing when it comes to bigger events. After I posted my last blog, a friend I had in my undergrad sent me a really encouraging message and also said that she really liked reading my blog. Wow! That was amazing to hear. It reminded me that even if I am not fully aware of it, people are there and they do care (unintentional rhyming bonus).
Life is confusing sometimes. It is full of moments that don't seem to make sense. I don't understand it at all and I don't think I ever will. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a part of the whole journey.
The strangest thing happened today. On my way home from school a woman approached me and asked me if I could spare a toonie or if I was going to Subway then she would like a sandwich. I said I didn't have a toonie and I wasn't going to Subway. Both of those things were true but I realized just because I hadn't planned to go to Subway didn't mean I couldn't go for her. So we went and she was very excited. She talked my ear off and told me all about how I should consider being an advocate for people with pets. While waiting in line I started to get frustrated. I was no longer giving with the right heart. After I paid I pretty much ran out of there. Then I was mad at myself for giving with bad intentions. I know it sounds stupid but that was my day. Well there was also the library and class but that is no fun to talk about.
One of my classmates invited a bunch of us over for dinner last night. It was so nice of them and his girlfriend sent us home with loot bags! How amazing is that?

Random information: "My Favourite Things" is the song that has been in my head for that last few weeks. From the Sound of Music? Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens... Ha ha. It is in your head now.

Ahead? Behind? It's All Relative

It seems that I have gained some new readers. For those of you who have just joined the story, welcome! I am sharing my life to stay connected; it isn't anything monumental. I realize that I have been exceptional down in the dumps lately and my posts have reflected that. What can I talk about that is more interesting and less lame? Want to learn about law? Hmmm. How 'bout them Blue Jays? OH! I just thought of something. The world is so small. I ran into a guy I went to high school with, whose girlfriend lives in the same building as me in Ottawa. It gets better... he knows another person in my small group class (20 students). I was completely flabbergasted.

I have been putting this off until I was in a better mood because if I write down my bad feelings other people might read them and feel bad too; I don't want that. These past few weeks have been going better. I really think that I was so upset because I didn't know anything about the law. I struggle to be the new kid and to have no knowledge that makes me stand out from the crowd. I sit in a room full of exceptional people everyday and so I started to doubt that was good enough. There are so many people who are getting the concepts and asking amazing questions. I couldn't even learn from there questions because some of them went so far over my head. Anyway, I realized I can do it but I have to be okay with not being the best. I was talking to a prof after a session on strategic course selection yesterday and I started to cry. I was crying because the faculty keeps parading all of these successful graduates and upper year students in front of us and it scares me. Not everyone ends up where these people are; what happens to the rest of them? I not giving myself permission to fall to the bottom of the barrel but if I end up there I don't want to feel like I am doomed. At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I am so privileged. I have been given so much, and I can waste it, or use it to do good. It is overwhelming most of the time. I am always analyze everything that is going on; weighing pros and cons and thinking really far into the future.

Completely changing gears... Some of my mom's relatives live near Ottawa and they invited me over for dinner last weekend. I asked if I could bring anything. I was told I could bring dessert. Finally! A chance to do some baking. I had been avoiding it since I live alone and would inevitably just eat everything I made. I decided to make checkerboard cake. It seems impressive but it is no more difficult than a regular cake.

Earlier this week generator testing lead to a blown fuse in the building where I live. Consequently the elevators were out of service. The lobby was full (I use this as a relative term) of people. Usual you see one person (maybe). When I walked in on Monday evening there were at least 10 people, maybe 15, just standing (and staring at their phones). I decided I wasn't going to wait, and ventured up the stairs. I live on the 20th floor and I had my backpack on so I knew it wasn't going to be an easy task. I did manage to make it up but was in desperate need of a shower once I got there. Another good thing is that I now know I can escape in the event of an emergency. The stairs in the building where my parents lived led nowhere; it was a deathtrap.

What do I think about the election? It is over. It happened. Maybe, if we let Him, He will use him to do something great. See what I did there? Capitalize the h and it totally changes the focus. Have a great weekend!